Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Thanks to all those prenatal vitamins, my hair had grown to almost Cher-like proportions. It was longer than it had ever been. Yet I grew increasingly tormented by my uncharacteristically long and flowing mane, at once both enamored by its greatness and vexxed by its maintenance. I determine, sadly, that it is impossible to have both long hair and a baby. Here are three of my most menacing issues:

Grooming (or lack thereof). With an infact, sometimes showering is a luxury, given various time constraints (see entry titled Five-Month Retrospective below). Say I have to choose between eating and showering. Five times out of five, I am going to eat. Which means, my long Cher hair can look pretty greasy several times a week. I imagine a cute bob-like cut might not look as stringy (and would require less time blowing dry).

Vomit. I worry that cute bob-like cut will look like a "mom 'do"--like the Stepford Wives haircut of the stay-at-home-mom set. Then something happens. Cass vomits in my hair, but I do not realize this fact for several hours, allowing just enough time for substance to sour, crust and set. And, of course, we already know I don't have time to shower. I decide that walking around with vomit in my hair is much worse (and far more telling) than any "mom 'do" could ever be.

Physical Pain. Some of my very sweetest moments with Cass--like when I'm nursing him in the dark of my bedroom before tucking him into his crib at night--find him laying peacefully across my stomach, one hand gently stroking my arm, the other curled around a lock of my hair, twirling the ends between his fingers. But the rest of the day, he grabs it ferociously, yanking with all his tiny might, using angry fistfuls of my hair to hoist him up and up and up until I wonder if I might faint.

Now for the kicker, taken just one day after getting my new mom 'do. I might find this really funny, if I didn't miss my Cher hair so much.